Color Me Happy is all about anger management, releasing stress, and anxiety in children~

Posts tagged ‘kids’

Would You Like To Be Able To Find Harmony In Your Life?

meditation 8 year oldmed kid

How about 5 minutes a day of rest ? 10 minutes of peace? 15 minutes of renewal? 20 minutes of rejuvenation? You can have it all. Meditation can change the way you work……and change your life in the process. It has for me and I have been meditating for over 28 years……which is one reason that I am a calm and happy soul. If you would like  to be able to
find harmony in your life and tap into your inner source of strength and wisdom…..then read on…….what do you have to lose?

Meditation needn’t involve sitting like a Buddha in your living room burning incense and chanting OHM for an hour every morning—it can if you’d like, but let’s be realistic here. Start off small. Commit to five minutes out of your day. Sit quietly, close your eyes, focus on your breathing, and just be present in your body, in the moment. It doesn’t need to be complicated.

I don’t care how busy you are…we can all spare 5 minutes for something that enhances our well being. I find the best time to practice meditation is first thing in the morning upon waking. Otherwise, life tends to get in the way. If you absolutely cannot fathom sitting still for 5 minutes, make it a moving meditation. Take your dog out for a walk and instead of running through your to do list in your mind, reliving an argument with your spouse, or composing your lesson plans, clear your mind and focus on your breathing. Thoughts will pop in…that’s normal. Just acknowledge them, release them, and re-focus on your breath and being present.

Once you have mastered the 5 minutes in the morning, add in another 5 minutes right before going to bed. It will help you to get a restful night’s sleep…something all of us multi-tasking, goal oriented, stretched-too-thin people are in direct need of.

Imagine a bucket filled with water. Now add some sand into it and stir it around. The water looks all cloudy and agitated. Allow the bucket to sit and be still for awhile and the sand settles to the bottom leaving you with clear water……Clarity.

This is a wonderful analogy for what meditation does for the mind. Its simplicity struck me.

The constant chatter going on in our minds causes us to miss out on what is going on in our present lives. We tend to either live in the past or in the future in our minds, constantly planning for events that have yet to occur or reliving events long gone by. When we make a habit of investing the time to quiet these thoughts and practice being present, we can think more clearly, be more productive throughout the day, and approach our tasks from a place of inner wisdom and mindfulness.

Living mindfully means living in harmony with yourself and the rest of the world—waking up and paying attention to the present moment. If we are not fully present, we risk watching our life slip on by unnoticed, failing to live up to our full potential. Mindfulness is basically the direct opposite of taking your life for granted. Jon Kabat-Zinn, author of Wherever You Go, There You Are, explains “to cultivate mindfulness, you may have to remember over and over again to be awake and aware”.

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How Do I Get Started?

Anyway you get started is good. Meditation is a deeply personal experience that needs to work for you. Experimentation is often the initial way people begin this process. Finding something right for you is important.

Don’t get caught up in having to follow a method or technique. As I have written before, it took me some time to find comfortable, doable ways to practice.  Remember, one of the important things (besides meditating) that you are doing in the doing of meditation is creating new neural habits as you establish a routine.

To help you to explore some ways to begin, here are some tips and resources to consider.

  • Establishing a time and place – This is very important. You want to maximize your success by finding a time frame and location conducive to your practice. While Jon Kabat-Zinn recommends starting with 15 minutes (long enough he says “to get really bored and antsy and learn to make room for unpleasant moments”) I suggest that even if you only begin with 5  minutes, it’s a good thing. You can always build to 15 as you progress and build those new neural habits. You don’t need an ashram or to be  surrounded by candles. You just need quiet. Once you grow in your  practice, you’ll be able to drop into five minutes of stillness in many different settings.
  • What do I  do with my body? Relax it – this is the key. It will take some time  to learn to let go and the place to do much of this work is in your body.  You begin with several deep slow breaths, ideally those that come from your belly. Closing your eyes is preferable. Uncross your legs with the soles of your feet touching ground (unless you are in a cross-legged posture). Rest your hands on your lap or at your sides. You don’t need to  have your hands in any kind of “mudra” like  position.
  • What do I do with my thoughts? Nothing – that’s the point. With mindfulness  meditation, you are simply noticing what you experience and not trying to feel anything differently. Too many people bail out because they don’t think they felt anything different or special. Mindfulness meditation is not about getting anywhere else except where you are. Thoughts will arise. “This is boring,” “Why am I doing this?” “This is a waste,” etc.  Feelings will come and go – frustration, impatience, even annoyance. Your  “task” in the moment of sitting is simply to allow, non-judgmentally, all the ways you distract yourself from being in the present moment.

meditation jah rasta

Is It Possible To Be Happy All The Time?

 happy after they are gone

The last time I left you to ponder on What Is Stopping You From Being Happy?

Now this week’s question is…….. “Is it possible to be happy all the time?”

Happiness and the method to achieve it has been thrown around for thousands of years, with millions of people, promising a million different ways of how to be happy.

But what does it mean to be happy?

Not everyone’s definition of happiness is the same, because everyone has different desires that they want to be fulfilled.  An idea that comes in moments rather than being an end result, right?

If happiness is something that comes in moments, how do we turn those moments into permanent destinations?

Is it possible to be happy all the time?

I’m not so sure. I am going to say more than likely, no. I don’t know about you, but if I were happy all the time, something would feel wrong. Not because finding happiness and fulfillment isn’t the most sought after feeling in the world, it most definitely is, but because were not made that way.

The problem of desires

What I mean is that we are made up of what we desire, essentially. We consistently seek pleasure while doing the best we can to avoid pain. Anytime we move to do anything, we do so because there is a desire of pleasure to come of it. Some of these pleasures come naturally to us and don’t really seem like pleasures but without them we would be in pain.

So, we seek out ways to keep our desires filled and try to find ways of how to fill the bigger desires, always looking for more pleasure. But that’s how it should be. We are humans and we want to feel pleasure, we want to be happy.

The problem with the constant need to feel pleasure, is that once we fill a desire, it starts to fade and a new desire forms. Here’s an example: I wait all year to go to my favorite vacation spot. When the time gets close, I get more and more excited. I am ready, I know I’ll have fun, I have all kinds of activities planned. Once I get to my desired destination and do everything I was so excited to do there, I feel happy.

But then what happens? The vacation comes to a close and it’s time to come home. Back to reality, we say. As I think about it though, I am actually glad to get back to my “normal” life. The activities were fun, but I am tired, sore, sunburned and need to rest.

My desire has changed from wanting to have the greatest time of my life, to wanting to just go home and sleep in my own bed. The point here is that because I filled my desire, I no longer need it. It goes away and a new one emerges.

This is happening on a constant basis. Sure, I will get the urge for another vacation sooner or later (probably sooner), but more than likely, I will want to do something different or go somewhere new.

Why happiness is an elusive idea

Since happiness comes in moments due to a desire that becomes fulfilled and then fades away, you could say that happiness is an elusive idea. Perhaps that’s why we always hear about someone’s pursuit of happiness. Now, just because happiness seems like an elusive goal, does not mean it is, let me explain.

The elusiveness that I speak of is merely the way in which our desires are fulfilled and then reprieved, as if to say that happiness comes and then goes in spurts or moments, as I mentioned earlier. Knowing this can allow you to be happy in your life before, during, and after your pursuit of it, whether you are able to fill certain desires or not.

Why it doesn’t matter if you win or lose

What matters is that you know the game, so to speak, of what it takes to be happy. To be happy is to be content with the fact that no matter if a desire is filled, or a goal failed, or dream denied, you know that happiness is a constant journey. A journey that can take a brief second or a lifetime, depending on what you desire.

True happiness comes in those small moments, real happiness comes in knowing how to reach those moments. As long as you know this, you can live a lifelong adventure that is full of happiness, joy, and fulfillment.

What does it take?

Pleasure and pain. Happy and sad. The struggle of life. Just like Yin and Yang, to be happy we need to experience sadness. It is knowing what it takes to be happy in your life, that pushes you through the sad times. So what does it take?

  • Pursuit of …

Happiness comes in the pursuit. If you are constantly striving to progress in your life, to learn, to be inspired, and to be happy, you will set yourself up for a life of happiness.

The desires you crave are waiting for you to fill them. Do what makes you happy, find your passions, strive to be your best, and you will relish in the moments of joy that come with a desire fulfilled.

  • Listen to …

Your body, mind, and spirit are constantly developing desires and aspirations, searching for ways to bring them into fruition. Listening to your inner voice will take you on a path dedicated to progress, to learn, to enjoy…life.

  • Work with …

Work with others who seek the same desires in life as you. Find an environment that lets you learn, grow, and be inspired.

Connecting with people of similar passions is one of the best ways to stay focused on what you enjoy. The people you connect with are the ones who lift you up when your feeling down with their inspiration and guidance. You ultimately end up doing the same for them, whether you realize it or not.

What it Means to Live through Desires

Knowing that happiness is a journey; knowing where joy comes in the form of fulfilled desires (and that it comes in moments), will allow you to feel a sense of gratitude throughout your path.

Remember that you will not always be happy, but can feel better knowing that you are in constant pursuit of reaching your dreams, both big and small.

Living through your desires will allow you to do what you never thought you were capable of, and see a side of yourself you never knew existed. You’ll be a part of something greater – which will lead you down a path of never ending possibilities.

Your life is what you make of it. As long as you see what leads you to happiness, you will never stop pursuing it.

Through search and pursuit, listening and learning, connecting and helping, your journey through life will be one of fulfillment. To keep moving forward is the key.

Find joy in the moments, clarity in times of sorrow, and happiness in the rewards of the path.

How To Help Kids Manage Their Anger~

anger manage

A child’s feelings are more often than not displayed in their behavior.

While a child is angry they may smash their toys, yell or pitch a fit. Children are not always appropriately vocal about their emotions but their actions are often louder than words.

Anger management for kids is obtainable and is useful in dealing with a child’s troubles with rage. Teaching these skills may necessitate a little research and experimenting.

There are books, movies and an abundance of useful information provided by sites on the Internet.

A child will not profit from an adult anger management support group, nor will they benefit from taking an adult-style anger management class.

Their minds are not established a sufficient amount to candidly talk about their feelings. In actuality they may not understand what’s happening themselves. A counselor cannot wait for a child to open up and tell them what is making them angry. This may never happen.

Teaching them positive morals and tolerable conduct through a variety of games would be a great deal more successful than a one-on-on session with an anger management counselor.

Providing them with worksheets, coloring pages, puzzles and quizzes would make the anger management lessons more appealing and pleasurable. Children can in reality be participating in a program without in fact realizing it. Anger management is a difficult idea to make clear to young children.

A child needs to become skilled at how to act properly in different situations.

The have to know that it is absolutely fine to be upset but they must as well comprehend that this anger must not be used in a negative manner.

Teaching kids anger management skills near the beginning of life will provide building blocks for their future. Through repetitious activities and practices, kids will eventually learn anger management techniques.

Hmmmmm….Will Happiness find you?

Talk about coloring me happy! This is it!!!

Just being able to wake up every morning…..

Open my eyes….tip-toe through the dark….BAM!!!

I can see colors! Wooohooooo…..Yyyyyes!

I could not imagine my life without my two hearts & souls that add rhythm to my own heartbeat…..the softness in the look of love in my mom’s eyes….

The lingering scents after a morning hug and kiss from my other half that trails with me all day….

Knowing that a gentle breeze….or a subtle sign is my dad (my guardian angel) saying hello from that beautiful place….

Seeing my sweet 1st graders imagination come to life…

I truly can’t get enough of that old soul’s happy-firecracker personality in my class….I’ll call him Ash…ha haaa!

Driving slowly to school and savoring and enjoying the ride to school as I reflect on the beauty of mother-nature.

Will happiness find me?

Oh yes! I am caught up in the rapture of the simplicity of life!

May the blessings be!

What’s The Difference?

A little girl and her father were crossing a bridge. The father was kind of scared so he asked his little daughter, “Sweetheart, please hold my hand so that you don’t fall into the river.” The little girl said, “No, Dad, you hold my hand.” “What’s the difference?” Asked the puzzled father. “There’s a big difference,” replied the little girl. “If I hold your hand and something happens to me, chances are that I may let your hand go. But if you hold my hand, I know for sure that no matter what happens, you will never let my hand go.”

Moral : TRUST and RESPECT cannot be LEARNED, PURCHASED or ACQUIRED. They can only be EARNED..

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