Color Me Happy is all about anger management, releasing stress, and anxiety in children~

Archive for September, 2013

HOW Well Do We Know the People in Our Life?

hearthand

You see………I seek to get to know people in my life so much better… when I understand and really know people I can love them more and judge them far less. And when I get to know others I can learn so much about myself because everyone in my life reflects an aspect of me. Some aspects need loving, some need healing and some just need to be.

HOW well do we know the people in our life?

As with everything, knowledge is power.

And when we know people well we feel empowered… we feel better connected.

So much of our disillusionment and disappointment comes about when we superficially make judgments about people… put them on pedestals which they bound to fall off…decide they are this or that.

But if we wish deeper connection with someone and really want to love them for who they are and not so much about what they initially reflect in us then we need to go deeper.

We need to find out about them.

We need to feel what it is like to be in their shoes.

And we need to include them in our lives.

The world is full of people who do not want to know others.

This gives their ego an inflated sense of power.

This gives their ego protection.

But it is all about superiority and fear that knowing someone might bring about a love of them.

It can be quite convenient for our leaders to define people by their labels.

It can be quite safe to put people in their own little box.

So we can shake hands with this person, hug this person but not this one or that.

But the more we get to know people the more we can see that they are really just like us.

We can see why they took this particular path and why they did not live up to our expectations… or did not appear to shine their light in the way we would have liked them to have done.

When we really get to know people we can love them for who they are… we can support them in what they are trying to do and hold their hand when they most need it to be held.

With great understanding comes great love.

Without understanding there can be little unconditional love… it is just a matter of liking or disliking.

And yet those we would appear to dislike are often those in most need of our love and understanding.

Those we are less likely to invite to the party, to include in our lives, are often the hearts that are most likely to pour out the love we so much seek.

It is in caring for people that our jewel is polished.

It is in knowing and understanding people that our diamond sparkles more.

And it is when we love people no matter what that we can become a gem in the world.

No one is not deserving of love.

No one should be deprived of love.

No one should be shunned, avoided, segregated or given up on.

Everyone has the potential to change from sitting in the grubby murky coal pit into the diamond mine where all sparkles and all glistens in beauty.

And, yes, everyone gets there in the end.

Everyone… yes, everyone… returns to love at the end of play… at the end of the day.

So let us get to know others… and in getting to know them we learn so much about ourselves.

I am so honored that you are allowing me to get to know you better… because when I get to know you better I so much learn about myself.

Each person reflects some aspect of ourselves… some aspects we need to know and love better, some that we need to heal and some we need to simply allow.

When we get to know people better our love deepens.

And so do we.

So dear and beautiful friend… do open your heart and share what is going on for you on this subject or any subject~

Advertisements

Is Your Life Vibrant and Colorful?

a feelhappierlight shine 4

Express yourself. Inject energetic colors into the atmosphere at work and at home. If not in dress, then in words and deeds. The world has enough grey! Be the antidote! Everything seems simpler from a distance. Sometimes you simply need to distance yourself to see things more clearly. You are more than whatever is troubling you. A very real part of you exists beyond your worries, beyond your doubts, independent from the troubles and frustrations of the present moment. Step back and observe yourself as you experience each moment. Be present. Watch yourself as you think, as you take action, as you experience emotions. Your body may experience pain, and yet that pain is not you. Your mind may encounter troubles, and yet you are not those troubles. Think of the most difficult challenge you face right now. Imagine that it’s not you, but a close friend who is facing this challenge. What advice would you give her? If you could step back and, instead of being the subject, look at your situation as an objective observer, would you look at it any differently? Think of the advice you would give your friend if your friend were in your shoes. Are you following your own best advice right now?
Don’t allow your current troubles to cloud your thinking. Take a few steps back and give yourself the benefit of this distance, and then give yourself some great advice.
Stop wondering why people keep hurting you. Ask yourself, “Why am I continuously allowing this to happen?” Speak up. Stand up for yourself. Sometimes we suffer, not because of the violence others inflict on us, but because of our own silence.
It is nearly impossible for anyone, even the most ineffective among us, to continue to choose a life of tedious grief after becoming fully enlightened to the fact that ineffectiveness is a choice. It is the direct outcome of unproductive beliefs and behaviors.
“It isn’t as bad as you sometimes think it is. As you heal and grow, it will all work out. Relax and trust yourself.” Repeat that in your mind every morning. Because the truth is, it all works out in the end. Put your full trust in yourself by following your intuition and doing your best, and then move forward one step at a time with faith and confidence in the future. Life will not forsake you. Love, persistence and hard work combined rarely lead a person astray in the long run. If you have faith in your abilities, if you stay true to the path that feels right, if you channel your passion into action, you will ultimately achieve a breakthrough. In other words, as soon as you trust yourself you will know how to heal and grow.

How To Build Up Your Child’s Self Esteem~

self esteemself love

Factors affecting children’s self esteem:

  • How much the child feels wanted, appreciated and loved
  • How your child sees himself, often built from what parents and those close say
  • His or her sense of achievement
  • How the child relates to others

Your child’s self esteem can be increased by you:

  • Appreciating your child Telling your child that you love them
  • Spending time with your child
  • Encouraging your child to make choices
  • Fostering independence in your children
  • Giving genuine importance to your child’s opinion and listening
  • Taking the time to explain reasons
  • Feeding your child with positive encouragement
  • Encouraging your child to try new and challenging activities

Appreciating your child:  A child’s self esteem will suffer if he or she is not appreciated. Children know if you are sincere or not. If you spend time together you must enjoy or there is no point. Show appreciation at all times. Tell your child you love him or her – this is appreciation. Thanking a child when he does something good is reward enough. Children like to please.

Encouragement : Esteem is boosted with your encouragement. Encourage decision-making……this will lead to a feeling of confidence and independence.

Praise: Self esteem comes from what you think about yourself, praise is external. I do not agree entirely with some who say praise creates kids addicted to it and then needing praise to feel good. Encouragement is better than praise. I was often told “could do better” and this lead me to feel no matter what I did it would not be good enough to please others.

Mutual respect: Children’s self esteem will be higher if you treat him or her seriously and with respect. Explain to the child everything and treat him as an intelligent individual able to understand and reach conclusions. You want to be treated like this and children are no different. A child who is belittled, patronized or put down will suffer lack of confidence. Mutual respect will foster trust and confidence.

Dealing with failure: If the child fails he must not feel a failure. Teach a child failure doesn’t exist, only temporary setbacks on the road to success. Never tell a child he has failed, let you down or cannot succeed. Be a mentor and help the child to believe in his or her ability to succeed no matter how long it takes!

Tag Cloud