Six ways to help your child get a good night’s sleep

 

 

Here are six simple things to add to—or eliminate from—your routine to help your child get a better sleep.

1. Lose the games:It’s hard to cut down on screen time. But a 2007 study published in Pediatrics showed that kids who played one hour of video games an hour before bedtime showed significant sleep disruption. Ensure game play takes place a few hours before bed.
2. Breakfast for bedtime:Some parents try to sneak in extra fruit servings before bed, but it turns out foods that combine protein and carbs, like oatmeal with milk, or toast with natural peanut butter, form amino acids that act like tryptophan, the chemical that makes you feel sleepy after a turkey dinner. Other foods that aid sleep include yogurt, cheese, bananas, poultry, eggs and tuna.
3. The environment:Some kids may have trouble falling or staying asleep because of allergens that cause itching, overheating and congestion. Have your child tested for allergies if you suspect this to be the case, and put him to bed in breathable, low-allergen organic cotton pajamas and sheets.
4. Unplug:Electrical fields given off by appliances can interfere with your quality of sleep by disrupting melatonin secretion. “Place alarm clocks, baby monitors, TVs, cellphones and other electrical devices no closer than three feet from where you sleep,” says Joyce Johnson, a naturopath in Belle River, Ont. “Even if devices are off, they can emit electrical fields, so unplug them.”
5. Lights out:The healthiest way to sleep is in complete darkness. “New research indicates that light pollution (any light, especially too-bright clocks or night lights) can disrupt hormone regulation, which affects sleep, and also immune system function,” says Johnson. Are your kids afraid of the dark? Put the night light in the hallway and turn it off once they’re asleep, or use one that eventually shuts itself off. Also try blackout curtains or sleep masks for kids who wake up unnaturally early from sunlight streaming into their rooms.
6. Make bedtime special: When children feel loved, they tend to relax. A predictable bedtime routine that includes cuddling up with you for a story and a chat is likely to calm your little one, and help him drift off to dreamland more peacefully.

 

HOW Well Do We Know the People in Our Life?

You see………I seek to get to know people in my life so much better… when I understand and really know people I can love them more and judge them far less. And when I get to know others I can learn so much about myself because everyone in my life reflects an aspect of me. Some aspects need loving, some need healing and some just need to be.

HOW well do we know the people in our life?

As with everything, knowledge is power.

And when we know people well we feel empowered… we feel better connected.

So much of our disillusionment and disappointment comes about when we superficially make judgments about people… put them on pedestals which they bound to fall off…decide they are this or that.

But if we wish deeper connection with someone and really want to love them for who they are and not so much about what they initially reflect in us then we need to go deeper.

We need to find out about them.

We need to feel what it is like to be in their shoes.

And we need to include them in our lives.

The world is full of people who do not want to know others.

This gives their ego an inflated sense of power.

This gives their ego protection.

But it is all about superiority and fear that knowing someone might bring about a love of them.

It can be quite convenient for our leaders to define people by their labels.

It can be quite safe to put people in their own little box.

So we can shake hands with this person, hug this person but not this one or that.

But the more we get to know people the more we can see that they are really just like us.

We can see why they took this particular path and why they did not live up to our expectations… or did not appear to shine their light in the way we would have liked them to have done.

When we really get to know people we can love them for who they are… we can support them in what they are trying to do and hold their hand when they most need it to be held.

With great understanding comes great love.

Without understanding there can be little unconditional love… it is just a matter of liking or disliking.

And yet those we would appear to dislike are often those in most need of our love and understanding.

Those we are less likely to invite to the party, to include in our lives, are often the hearts that are most likely to pour out the love we so much seek.

It is in caring for people that our jewel is polished.

It is in knowing and understanding people that our diamond sparkles more.

And it is when we love people no matter what that we can become a gem in the world.

No one is not deserving of love.

No one should be deprived of love.

No one should be shunned, avoided, segregated or given up on.

Everyone has the potential to change from sitting in the grubby murky coal pit into the diamond mine where all sparkles and all glistens in beauty.

And, yes, everyone gets there in the end.

Everyone… yes, everyone… returns to love at the end of play… at the end of the day.

So let us get to know others… and in getting to know them we learn so much about ourselves.

I am so honored that you are allowing me to get to know you better… because when I get to know you better I so much learn about myself.

Each person reflects some aspect of ourselves… some aspects we need to know and love better, some that we need to heal and some we need to simply allow.

When we get to know people better our love deepens.

And so do we.

So dear and beautiful friend… do open your heart and share what is going on for you on this subject or any subject~

Is Your Life Vibrant and Colorful?

Express yourself. Inject energetic colors into the atmosphere at work and at home. If not in dress, then in words and deeds. The world has enough grey! Be the antidote! Everything seems simpler from a distance. Sometimes you simply need to distance yourself to see things more clearly. You are more than whatever is troubling you. A very real part of you exists beyond your worries, beyond your doubts, independent from the troubles and frustrations of the present moment. Step back and observe yourself as you experience each moment. Be present. Watch yourself as you think, as you take action, as you experience emotions. Your body may experience pain, and yet that pain is not you. Your mind may encounter troubles, and yet you are not those troubles. Think of the most difficult challenge you face right now. Imagine that it’s not you, but a close friend who is facing this challenge. What advice would you give her? If you could step back and, instead of being the subject, look at your situation as an objective observer, would you look at it any differently? Think of the advice you would give your friend if your friend were in your shoes. Are you following your own best advice right now?
Don’t allow your current troubles to cloud your thinking. Take a few steps back and give yourself the benefit of this distance, and then give yourself some great advice.
Stop wondering why people keep hurting you. Ask yourself, “Why am I continuously allowing this to happen?” Speak up. Stand up for yourself. Sometimes we suffer, not because of the violence others inflict on us, but because of our own silence.
It is nearly impossible for anyone, even the most ineffective among us, to continue to choose a life of tedious grief after becoming fully enlightened to the fact that ineffectiveness is a choice. It is the direct outcome of unproductive beliefs and behaviors.
“It isn’t as bad as you sometimes think it is. As you heal and grow, it will all work out. Relax and trust yourself.” Repeat that in your mind every morning. Because the truth is, it all works out in the end. Put your full trust in yourself by following your intuition and doing your best, and then move forward one step at a time with faith and confidence in the future. Life will not forsake you. Love, persistence and hard work combined rarely lead a person astray in the long run. If you have faith in your abilities, if you stay true to the path that feels right, if you channel your passion into action, you will ultimately achieve a breakthrough. In other words, as soon as you trust yourself you will know how to heal and grow.

How To Build Up Your Child’s Self Esteem~

Factors affecting children’s self esteem:

• How much the child feels wanted, appreciated and loved
• How your child sees himself, often built from what parents and those close say
• His or her sense of achievement
• How the child relates to others

Your child’s self esteem can be increased by you:

• Appreciating your child Telling your child that you love them
• Spending time with your child
• Encouraging your child to make choices
• Fostering independence in your children
• Giving genuine importance to your child’s opinion and listening
• Taking the time to explain reasons
• Feeding your child with positive encouragement
• Encouraging your child to try new and challenging activities

Appreciating your child:  A child’s self esteem will suffer if he or she is not appreciated. Children know if you are sincere or not. If you spend time together you must enjoy or there is no point. Show appreciation at all times. Tell your child you love him or her – this is appreciation. Thanking a child when he does something good is reward enough. Children like to please.

Encouragement : Esteem is boosted with your encouragement. Encourage decision-making……this will lead to a feeling of confidence and independence.

Praise: Self esteem comes from what you think about yourself, praise is external. I do not agree entirely with some who say praise creates kids addicted to it and then needing praise to feel good. Encouragement is better than praise. I was often told “could do better” and this lead me to feel no matter what I did it would not be good enough to please others.

Mutual respect: Children’s self esteem will be higher if you treat him or her seriously and with respect. Explain to the child everything and treat him as an intelligent individual able to understand and reach conclusions. You want to be treated like this and children are no different. A child who is belittled, patronized or put down will suffer lack of confidence. Mutual respect will foster trust and confidence.

Dealing with failure: If the child fails he must not feel a failure. Teach a child failure doesn’t exist, only temporary setbacks on the road to success. Never tell a child he has failed, let you down or cannot succeed. Be a mentor and help the child to believe in his or her ability to succeed no matter how long it takes!

Are You Aware Of Your Energy?

Although we have the ability to choose our friends, we don’t always have that luxury with our co-workers, family, or the guy on the bus sitting next to us. So a piece of advice….Listen to one of the smartest people you will ever know. You.

You have all the information you will ever need to guide you. So listen when you speak. Use all your senses. Tune into your body. What is it saying to you? Is your body speaking to you with anger, fear, sadness, or a persistent pain in your neck?

In our western culture, we are taught early on by our parents, family, and peers. To “stop being a baby”, “get over it”, etc. It is not to your benefit that these people request putting these feelings away. It may be for their comfort.

Most of us, in our search for love and acceptance, have tried to please and have stuffed our feelings at some point. Or perhaps we were overwhelmed with feeling. However, we don’t put them away in a little box in the closet. We store them in our bodies.

Recent research has demonstrated that the mental processes of the mind are not confined to the brain. Memories, trauma, emotions and resistances can be stored in the body and human energy field. As we bring our awareness to these areas of self limitations, physical pain, fear, anger, etc., these old patterns can be released. By unblocking the imbalance, the individual’s innate healing ability can be restored and stimulated to return the body to its normal homeostasis and balance.

There is a simple technique for bringing your awareness to and releasing some of these energies. Find a quiet place. Turn off the phone, close your door with orders not to be disturbed, lie down and close your eyes. Take a few deep breaths and locate that tightness, feeling or pain that you have. Really focus on that spot. Just sit with it and try to visualize it. What color would it be? What shape is it? Imagine yourself finding an opening in that colored shape and go inside. What does it feel like? What emotion is in there? Then imagine it talking to you, telling you all about this emotion. Don’t try fixing it or changing it, just listen.

Then notice what happens. The color and shape will shift. You are shifting this energy by bringing your awareness to this area of your body. If you still have any pain, stay with the new color. Brownish or muddy colors indicate disharmony. Bright clear colors indicate harmony.

By listening to our body and honoring the incredible information that is available, we can really begin to open up to the beautiful souls that we are really meant to be.

How to Make Lifelong Transformations in Your Life~

“Wisely, and slow. They stumble that run fast.” – William Shakespeare

How many times have you rushed into making changes in your life……a habit change, learning a new skill……only to have it flop?

It’s not just the New Year’s Resolution Syndrome……it happens too often at all times of the year, that we run out of steam or get discouraged and give up.

But here’s the secret, and I won’t charge you $29.95 for it: GO SLOWLY…….yup.

This little change has more power than most people realize. It will help to learn any skill, from martial arts to art to computer activities. It will help form habits that are long-lasting. Slowing down will help you become more effective and ironically, help reach goals faster.

If you’ve ever tried Tai Chi……famous for its series of slow movements and poses, you’ve felt the power of slow. The slower you go in Tai Chi, the better, for many reasons. One effect of this slowness is that you perfect the movements. And your body adapts, forming muscle memories that will last when (and if) you decide to speed up the movements.

It’s as if your body and mind are forming a groove through continual repetition of the movements. If you move quickly, you’ll be erratic, and the groove will be much more difficult to form. If you move slowly, you can learn to move in exactly the same pattern, in a more precise way, and a groove will form. Once the groove is formed, it becomes easier. It’s now habit, unconscious memory, and automatic.

This is habit formation, and usually it’s done without thought. When we drive home and our minds are on something else, but we make the right motions to get home anyway … this is habit, this is our minds and bodies going in a groove we’ve formed by doing these actions so many times before.

The groove is best formed by going slow, at first.

This applies to anything: exercise, eating healthy, creating art, becoming a patient parent, carpentry, reading. Slow is the secret to making it last. And no, that’s not meant to be dirty.

Some of the reasons slow works, besides forming a groove:

1. Mindfulness. When you do something slowly, you can pay more attention to what you’re doing. I highly recommend that when you make changes, you do them mindfully, with full concentration. This increased awareness is necessary in the beginning, when you’re still forming the groove. Later, it’ll become automatic, but at first it’s anything but. You need to pay attention, and you can do this better when you do it slower.

2. You hold yourself back. Holding ourselves back is often considered a bad thing, but it’s not. It’s the best thing we can do, if we want changes to last. When we start a new change, often we are full of enthusiasm. But then we go all out and use up all of that enthusiasm, and run out of motivation or energy or get distracted by something else. But when you hold yourself back, you build up enthusiasm and keep it going for much longer…….through that dreaded 2-3 week barrier when people often quit. So even if you want to run 3 miles at first, start with walking and then run-walking (in intervals), and only do a mile or so. You’ll want to do more, but stop yourself. Save that enthusiasm for next time.

3. You learn it right. Doing something slowly means you can learn to do it correctly, without being erratic, and later as it becomes second nature you’ll do it the right way. The importance is obvious in something like martial arts, but it’s also true in any physical activity. And every activity is physical (and mental).

4. Increased focus. When you do something slowly, you tend to do just one thing. It’s hard to multi-task and do something slowly…….they don’t mix well. When you single-task, you can focus, instead of always being distracted. This leads to increased effectiveness.

5. Calm. Slow is calmer. Fast is hectic. Go slow to get rid of the chaos, and find peace.

“Slow down, everyone. You’re moving too fast.” – Jack Johnson

Affirmations For Teachers~

 

Asset-Building for Teachers

I’m a powerful asset builder in the lives of my students.

I know and use students’ names regularly when I see them.

Each day, I greet students warmly.

I focus daily on young people’s gifts and talents.

I help young people use their strengths to overcome their deficits.

I regularly encourage my fellow staff members to build assets for and with students.

When young people are in trouble, I begin my interactions with them by focusing on their strengths.

Each day, I’m involved in spontaneous acts of asset building.

I’m expanding my positive influence by pursuing relationships with students I don’t know.

At least once a week, I do something for or with students that goes beyond their normal expectations.

I work hard to maintain relationships with the students I’m already connected with.

I have high expectations for myself, fellow staff members, and students.

I take the time to listen when students speak to me.

I help students visualize themselves performing at higher levels.

Before school, at passing time, at lunch, and after school, I’m out in the hallways engaging students.

I smile at and make eye contact with young people as I go about my day.

I believe that my power as a teacher comes from the relationships that I develop with my students.

I take the initiative in engaging young people positively.

I’m meeting state standards by doing asset-building activities.

I engage young people positively at school and in the community.

 

 

copyright © 2008 by

Search Institute®, Minneapolis, MN; 800-888-7828; http://www.search-institute.org.

Embrace the New School Year with Positive Daily Student Declarations(Affirmations) ~

I strongly believe that positive affirmations can be a very powerful tool used to change how each individual thinks and feels about themselves……which translates into attitudes and actions when facing others. Positive affirmations work by creating, developing and amplifying what is in our thoughts. This can be our attitudes, our thought processes, and everything else that runs across our mind. With constant use of positive affirmations, it is possible to reprogram the internal subconscious mind, changing the negatives into the positives.

I have found the use of affirmations to be a very effective tool in boosting students’ confidence. I find that they can work like a light switch, awakening thoughts of possibilities and success, in young minds. As a result, I rely on the recitation of affirmations on test or exam days. I believe that, if used consistently throughout the school year, behavior problems would decrease. I have proven this and it has worked for me. I found that children crave the positive validation that affirmations grant them. Even if doubted by a child (or, perhaps even her teacher), a consistent regimen of affirmations can change a youngster’s outlook about him or herself.

Here are twenty I would like to share with you.

• I am ready to begin my day!
• My mind is sharp!
• I am prepared for whatever comes my way today.
• I vow to work smart, and to do my best, all day.
• I will be patient with myself.
• I am enthusiastic about the new things I am learning/will learn.
• I am focused on the things I have to do today.
• I cooperate nicely with my teacher, and with my classmates.
• I eat power foods that are good for my brain.
• I get a good night’s sleep every night to rest my body.
• I celebrate yesterday’s accomplishments, and I am not discouraged by yesterday’s challenges/difficulties.
• I know what I need to know for this exam.
• I will turn my nervous feelings into positive energy!
• I encourage my classmates to be their best.
• I have good ideas to plan my work from.
• I am a positive thinker, and I am confident about my gifts.
• I have gifts and talents that make me special.
• I am a good problem-solver.
• I ask for help when I need it.
• I am a good listener!

Start Your Day With a BANG!!!!

Soooooo, have you ever had one of those days when you woke up and everything seemed to go wrong? You check email on your phone and find that something at work has just blown up, you trip over a toy that your daughter left in the middle of the floor the night before, you realize that the suit that you really wanted to wear for an important meeting is still at the cleaners, you can’t find your wallet or your keys, and you just want to crawl back under the covers and make the entire day go away!

In my years of working with people to transform their lives, it has become really clear to me that the way we begin each day really does set the tone for the entire day. What I also know unequivocally is that we can set ourselves up to have a better day — each and every day.

Here are 8 practices that really work. 

1. Wake Up To Greet the Day! – Your natural biorhythms cause your metabolism to kick in as soon as it starts to get light. Why not live in a way that is more aligned with what your body naturally wants, and wake up as the sky starts to turn from black to gray to greet the day?
2. Practice Gratitude Before You Even Get Out of Bed – Before your foot hits the floor, think about all the things in your life that you are grateful for. These things can be as simple as the fact that your pillow is soft or your comforter warm and cozy or as profound as the fact that you actually woke up to see and live another day. What are the things about you and your life that make you feel fortunate or even blessed?
3. Write Morning Pages – Many people find it helpful to write “morning pages” which is really just a practice of journaling first thing in the morning. Write down on paper whatever is rumbling around in your head. Just let it flow, and write at least two handwritten pages before you go on with your day.
4. Meditate Yourself into the Right Frame of Mind – Note that I said meditate, not medicate! There are lots of different meditation practices that people find helpful. Vipassana meditation is the practice of observing the breath and coming back to it every time your thoughts carry you off somewhere else. Transcendental Meditation is the practice of repeating a mantra over and over again in your head. My favorite meditation practice is the practice of Metta. Metta is Pali and means loving-kindness. It is the practice of cultivating compassion by wishing everyone well, beginning with yourself and extending to all beings everywhere. If you want to learn more about the practice of Metta, you can find Metta meditation instructions at this post at http://angelabrentharris.com/2013/07/30/metta-meditation-practice
5. Spend Some Quiet Time Alone – Pour yourself a cup of tea and just sit. Enjoy the feeling of the warm cup in your hands. Look out the window and watch the birds flying around. Just breathe.
6. Get Your Body Moving – First thing in the morning is a great time to practice yoga or even go for a run. If you work out first thing in the morning before eating you will burn more fat. When you finish your workout, be sure to eat some protein, as it will help your body build muscle mass.
7. Go To a Place That Nourishes You – This can be a room in your home, or even the corner of a room, that you have set up to be clutter free and relaxing or inspiring. You may try putting candles in the space, or making a vision board to hang there. For me, the place that most nourishes me is the beach, and I am blessed to live close enough to it that I can get there pretty easily. My favorite way to start the day is to run or walk along the beach at dawn. When I am there, I just focus on taking it all in. I watch the waves break, see the seagulls soar, and when I get there early enough I often spot pods of dolphins or even sea lions. When I see them, I like to think of it as the universe giving me a gift for having taken responsibility for making the most of my day!
8. Make the First 90 Minutes of Your Day Sacred – Make the decision that you aren’t going to let anything that happens in the first 90 minutes of the day get under your skin, upset or even bother you. It may not feel like it, but it is absolutely a choice. Why not give yourself the gift of starting your day in a fabulously wonderful way? You’re worth it!

You don’t need to adopt every practice. Try the ones that resonate most with you, and watch to see what happens.

Would You Like To Be Able To Find Harmony In Your Life?

How about 5 minutes a day of rest ? 10 minutes of peace? 15 minutes of renewal? 20 minutes of rejuvenation? You can have it all. Meditation can change the way you work……and change your life in the process. It has for me and I have been meditating for over 28 years……which is one reason that I am a calm and happy soul. If you would like  to be able to
find harmony in your life and tap into your inner source of strength and wisdom…..then read on…….what do you have to lose?

Meditation needn’t involve sitting like a Buddha in your living room burning incense and chanting OHM for an hour every morning—it can if you’d like, but let’s be realistic here. Start off small. Commit to five minutes out of your day. Sit quietly, close your eyes, focus on your breathing, and just be present in your body, in the moment. It doesn’t need to be complicated.

I don’t care how busy you are…we can all spare 5 minutes for something that enhances our well being. I find the best time to practice meditation is first thing in the morning upon waking. Otherwise, life tends to get in the way. If you absolutely cannot fathom sitting still for 5 minutes, make it a moving meditation. Take your dog out for a walk and instead of running through your to do list in your mind, reliving an argument with your spouse, or composing your lesson plans, clear your mind and focus on your breathing. Thoughts will pop in…that’s normal. Just acknowledge them, release them, and re-focus on your breath and being present.

Once you have mastered the 5 minutes in the morning, add in another 5 minutes right before going to bed. It will help you to get a restful night’s sleep…something all of us multi-tasking, goal oriented, stretched-too-thin people are in direct need of.

Imagine a bucket filled with water. Now add some sand into it and stir it around. The water looks all cloudy and agitated. Allow the bucket to sit and be still for awhile and the sand settles to the bottom leaving you with clear water……Clarity.

This is a wonderful analogy for what meditation does for the mind. Its simplicity struck me.

The constant chatter going on in our minds causes us to miss out on what is going on in our present lives. We tend to either live in the past or in the future in our minds, constantly planning for events that have yet to occur or reliving events long gone by. When we make a habit of investing the time to quiet these thoughts and practice being present, we can think more clearly, be more productive throughout the day, and approach our tasks from a place of inner wisdom and mindfulness.

Living mindfully means living in harmony with yourself and the rest of the world—waking up and paying attention to the present moment. If we are not fully present, we risk watching our life slip on by unnoticed, failing to live up to our full potential. Mindfulness is basically the direct opposite of taking your life for granted. Jon Kabat-Zinn, author of Wherever You Go, There You Are, explains “to cultivate mindfulness, you may have to remember over and over again to be awake and aware”.

How Do I Get Started?

Anyway you get started is good. Meditation is a deeply personal experience that needs to work for you. Experimentation is often the initial way people begin this process. Finding something right for you is important.

Don’t get caught up in having to follow a method or technique. As I have written before, it took me some time to find comfortable, doable ways to practice.  Remember, one of the important things (besides meditating) that you are doing in the doing of meditation is creating new neural habits as you establish a routine.

To help you to explore some ways to begin, here are some tips and resources to consider.

• Establishing a time and place – This is very important. You want to maximize your success by finding a time frame and location conducive to your practice. While Jon Kabat-Zinn recommends starting with 15 minutes (long enough he says “to get really bored and antsy and learn to make room for unpleasant moments”) I suggest that even if you only begin with 5  minutes, it’s a good thing. You can always build to 15 as you progress and build those new neural habits. You don’t need an ashram or to be  surrounded by candles. You just need quiet. Once you grow in your  practice, you’ll be able to drop into five minutes of stillness in many different settings.
• What do I  do with my body? Relax it – this is the key. It will take some time  to learn to let go and the place to do much of this work is in your body.  You begin with several deep slow breaths, ideally those that come from your belly. Closing your eyes is preferable. Uncross your legs with the soles of your feet touching ground (unless you are in a cross-legged posture). Rest your hands on your lap or at your sides. You don’t need to  have your hands in any kind of “mudra” like  position.
• What do I do with my thoughts? Nothing – that’s the point. With mindfulness  meditation, you are simply noticing what you experience and not trying to feel anything differently. Too many people bail out because they don’t think they felt anything different or special. Mindfulness meditation is not about getting anywhere else except where you are. Thoughts will arise. “This is boring,” “Why am I doing this?” “This is a waste,” etc.  Feelings will come and go – frustration, impatience, even annoyance. Your  “task” in the moment of sitting is simply to allow, non-judgmentally, all the ways you distract yourself from being in the present moment.

Related articles

• The Benefits of Meditation (everydayhealth.com)
• 5 Minute Gratitude Meditation (littlewindmillyoga.com)